This is Gai (in the middle) with two of my friends on the trip, Rob(left) and Natalie (Right).
First of all, I would like you to get to know me and my background. My name is Gai. I’m Thai. I was born in a devout Buddhist family. They love to go to the temple so I have to go with them all the time. Because we believe that we will go to heaven and be reincarnated as a human body not an animal such as a dog or a cat, it makes me scared so I have to recite before bed everyday so I don’t have to be the dog. I’m so glad that my childhood life was a wonderful time because I was with my family.
Until I was 15 years old my parents sent me far away from home for high school. In their mind, they thought that it will make me be a good person. I was studying there alone without my parents beside me since high school until my first year in a university. That
sometimes made me so lonely. So I found my way by having a boyfriend and living together with him since high school until the university. My boyfriend liked to go out at night, smoking, drinking alcohol and taking drugs. I did everything the same as he did because we had fun when we did that. But one day my boyfriend walked away from my life. It was not a big deal for me because I have a lot of friends but it has been not long, there were the exchange students from America who came to my university. I didn’t know what they were exactly doing here but I only knew that they like to spend time with Thai people. They like to laugh and smile all the time. I hate them very much and for me I don’t like to spend time with people I didn’t know. That's the reason why I always stayed alone in my room. One evening the exchange students came to knock on my door and what they did made me not satisfied at all. Because they looked strange to me, I opened the door for them for a few seconds, because of my respect to the Thai culture which is not polite if I will not open the door if there is a guest. So I was forced to open the door. Honestly I was glad that they came. My impression was opposite to what they shown me when I actually invited them inside my room.
After that, they invited me to the party that they made. They told me it is free and fun. I decided to go with them because I was bored. I saw many people there both Farang and Thai. I felt so good when I walked in there, everybody gave me a great warm welcome. They have fun without taking alcohol. I asked them what they want me to repay for them they told me they don’t want anything from me because they got a lot more than enough from one person who always gives to them and no limit. That made me wonder who is that person was and I wanted so much to know the answer. After that they invited me to the camp. We had an activity at the beach and we had a lot of fun together. We also watched a movie at night. The movie that we watched was the story of Jesus. I was so amazed and started to cry while Jesus was nailed on the cross. I thought it is not equitable for Jesus to die on the cross. Besides, he did not do anything wrong and why he had to carry everybody sins and was punished for them. After we finished the movie, there was one sister who came to explain the reason why Jesus has to die on the cross for us. She explained in Romans 6:22-23. I understood, but I still didn’t want to receive Christ at that time and I didn’t want to have relationship with a Christian.
Later when I came back from the camp I was so sick and with a high fever, I thought I was going to die for sure. I called my mother that stayed 18 hours away from me. I told my mom that I have a high fever and I’m going to die. I really need to see the doctor. My mom wanted so much to come to help me but she couldn’t come because of the long distance and it was very difficult to travel at that time. Thus my mom just cried and told me to ask someone to help take me to the doctor. But I don’t have any friends who can help me at that time because all of my friends went to the school and it's only me in the room. I felt like I’m almost died and it made me think about Jesus and pray if there is really a God. Maybe he is listening to me right now. "Please send a Christian sister who went to the camp with me to come here and take me to the doctor then I will believe that there is really God," I prayed. 5 minutes later, there were people who came and knocked at my door. I was so happy but I couldn’t move my feet to open the door for them so I crawled to open the door for them. Then I was so surprised when I saw my Christian sister at the door. In my mind I knew that God exists, but I didn’t tell them. They took me to my bed, stood around me, laid hands on me and prayed for me. Actually deep in my heart, I believed that God would heal me. After they took me to the hospital, the doctor had checked me and told us that I had a serious fever. But it was a miracle that my fever was getting better and better in a short time. The doctor was so amazed.
After that, I decided to go to church and received Christ into my life. I walked with Jesus for 5 years. I served the Lord by doing activities at the church and helped the church a lot within 5 years. Everybody was so happy to see me serve the Lord together with them. But later I went back to my old boyfriend again. I made a big mistake, went back to my old way, then ended up with serious sin. I drank again, smoked and did everything to make my boyfriend come back to me, but it was more badly for me because I still served God at the church and did the bad things at the same time. Nobody at the church knew that I went back to my boyfriend and did many sinful things.
God loves me so much and He wants to teach me something, so he toughened me up by allowing me to get pregnant. It was a nightmare for me when I knew that I got pregnant. I didn’t know what to do because my boyfriend said that it was not his responsibility. I couldn’t tell my mom; also because it would be so embarrassing for me if the church knew about it. I decided to kill myself... but I was afraid to do it. I was thinking of aborting the baby 5 times because I thought nobody will know. But God talked to me through his word on Psalms that said that, “I will give you the gift and you will have abounding food, don’t worry in everything.” Thus I started to cry, knelt on the floor and asked for forgiveness from Him. I decided to go back to Him and told Him that I’m so afraid. I asked Him to dwell in me and asked Him to help me when I go to talk with my Christian friends at the church; that they will not abuse me. By that time I didn’t need anything except encouragement and a hug. After that, I went to my friend and said, "I have something to talk to you about." And instead of abusing me, she welcomed me and brought me to her room. In my heart, I prayed for something that I didn't expect would happen to me. I asked my friend, "If I do something bad, are you going to forgive me?" Then she said, "Sure I will forgive you because the Lord always forgives us and that people also have to obey Him." So I told her while crying that I got pregnant but she thought that I was lying. I confirmed her that it was true, and then she was so quiet, hugged me and we cried together. She told me that she will take care of me and was sure the Lord will take care of me also. I couldn’t say anything, I just cried and thanked her that she did not abuse me. I saw God’s love many times in my life. That gave me peace and encouraged me to take care of my baby. God gave me my very nice girl and a cute one at that! I even thought my life was not complete because I don’t have a husband, and my daughter doesn’t have a father. But we got more than that, we have God’s love in our heart all the time and it will be with us forever. Now my daughter is 5 years old. Every time when I was looking at my daughter I will tell her, "Thank God for He gave you to me to be my daughter." My daughter made me so happy and so blessed, sometimes it makes me cry when I think about the day that I wanted to abort her. Her smile is so beautiful and she is a cheerful girl. Many people said that she is a happy child when they meet her.
We live without any help from our family now because they said that if there is really God then they don’t have to help me. By the way, God is so good to us always even though our life is so difficult sometimes but we have to be patient and learn to depend on God only, not just one thing but everything.
Gai lives in Chaing Mai, Thailand with her daughter and is the manager of a Christian book store and coffee shop called "Kingdom Book." You can check it out at www.kingdombook.com. It's a great place! Thanks Gai for your testimony!
No comments:
Post a Comment